Seeking healthy relationships with family , friends , neighbours and work colleagues?

Written by Family Law Head of Department, Warren Tegg.

I’m constantly negotiating. I represent people in dispute. They may fall foul of the law or be in dispute with a competitor, customer or supplier in business. My task is to negotiate an outcome. My work in Matrimonial or Commercial negotiation is assisted by an  understanding  the personalities I deal with. First I must understand my own. I learned that I am a strong personality,  a “powerful choleric” inBriggs Myers experts terms an “A” type. I say  “We work as a team and do it my way “ ! “Powerful choleric comes from  American psychologist (Florence Littauer). She simplifies a  personality test into two pages of strengths and weaknesses you identify. The result is a guide to  your own  blend of personality traits. Her work in  “Personality Plus” is both instructive and entertaining. You will be elated  to discover that you possess your own distinctive personality type and that, for instance , it is OK not to be like your partner. Step 1 shows how you view the world. Time to learn  how others view it. The brevity of this column prevents  a detailed explanation but people  are a combination of four personality types: Strong leader; Organised and meticulous Sanguine party animal; Easygoing Peacemaker Strong  leaders are great in a crisis. They know what to do next and will  make the decision. They do need organized help to actually carry out the decision. Some 37 % of people would rather do the job than make the decision. The world needs party people for  fun and gentle peacemakers to offset the decision makers. Opposites attract so Leaders seek organized peacemakers and vice versa. Party animals are great fun but they’ll forget to bring everything they need and don’t plan at all. Organized people may have trouble with spontaneity. And those seeking harmony may have trouble with  practicality. One part of a healthy relationship is understanding that our partner, co-worker or neighbor  views the world differently. Consideration of their personality in getting our message across makes communication effective. Understanding these differences will lead to healthier relationships.